Here it is November 1st and I can truthfully say that I am very happy with how things are going in my life. I have a wonderful girlfriend that loves me for who I am and cares deeply for me. I am more motivated to do new things again and push towards goals I thought were too far away. Life has definitely been challenging over the corse of the past year, but things that should have broke me completely; didn't. My growth over the last two years is apparent in just about everything I do, say, react and even feel. My journey in life is really only beginning and I look forward to what the new year will bring.
In the spirit of starting anew, I feel it's only right to share the blogs I started, but never finished. Here they are:
The Twitter Ripple... (9/2/2009)
So, three months ago, me and some of my friend decided to jump on Twitter to test it out. Some of of enjoyed it and caught on well, while others struggled keeping up or staying interested. The biggest thing for us was having the ability to plan nights out through tweets because we'd all get the message.
Since then, I decided to venture off and find some new people. I've found some wonderful people all over the world! It's amazing how different people lives are compared to the one I live. In many was, it's refreshing to hear about others lives, problems, joys, misfortunes, travels etc.
Recently, I've had the pleasure of helping some of my tweeps out with their various problems and issues. This interaction not only helps them, but it helps me as well. Another thing that has been cool is audio and video chatting with some of my tweeps.
Hmmm.... (9/15/2009)
So this weekend was interesting. I received a couple txt messages for the ex that made me revert back to being lonely and slightly depressed. Even though the conversation wasn't a bad one, it wasn't something I needed either. It's interesting how a simple conversation with her will make me unravel, yet it does nothing to her. I think that pisses me off more than the fact that she txted me trying to figure out what's going on in my life. Oh well. No worries. Life goes on.
I've once again started looking for a new start and this time there is nothing holding me back. There's nothing keeping me here in GA.... well there is one person but, I'm not sure where that's going. My list of places has always changed from time to time. Here is my list: Charlotte NC, Orlando FL, Mountain View CA, (maybe) Sioux Falls SD
Just when you've given up.... (11/29/2009)
My life, nothing spectacular, has revolved around my moods swings for the last 9 years like a drill sargent yelling and screaming in your face during boot camp.
My thoughts.... (1/28/2010)
In my world there are two things that are for certain; I'm going to be up, and I'm going to be down. Every rarely am I ever in between these two extremes. When I'm up, I'm at the top of the world; nothing seems to bother me. I'm at the top of my game, driven, inspired, and I seem to have this aura about me that everyone wants to be around. When I'm down, I feel worthless and alone. I feel as though I'm not good enough for anyone or anything, or like the world would be a better place if I were no longer around. So as I'm sitting here watching the movie Kung Fu Hustle and I can help but compare this one scene to my life. As a group of Axe gang members make their entrance into the small town, a dark cloud follows them and is cast over the entire town.... this is so like my life. I'll be sitting, comfortably in my own little world when something comes in it and makes it all gloomy. Some dark, unwanted force coming into my life without reason....Well just like in the movie, I fight back. I fight hard for my happiness, for my peace of mind, for my joy. Is it easy? No. Do I feel like giving up sometimes? Yes. Well... what keeps you going?
That's what it's all about. Those three things keep my fight for something better, something bigger and bight, for a better life, for a better me.
Last year I pulled myself up from what seemed to be the pit of hell, but I still feel like I need to do more. In December, I took an inventory of my life, my goals and my dreams to come put with a plan to move forward with my life and be happy. Here's how things looked:
1 Self-image: hate it hate it hate it... so I joined the gym. I started going to the gym December 4 and I'm starting to feel good about myself and the way I look for the first time in many... many years. It has also made me feel better physically, boosted my confidence and has completely alter my life.
2 Where I'm at: this encompasses what I'm going with my life and where I'm going. So I haven't been completely happy with the hand I was dealt when it comes to this area. I'm extremely hard on myself but I had to stop and think... what am I doing to make it better. So I made some changes. I first thing I've set out to do is to get Mac Certified and have been making steps towards it. Another was moving out of GA. I've looked into the possibility of doing a couple things: moving to a different state looking for a techy job, or moving out of the country and teaching English
For a while now, I have wanted to get back into blogging, but nothing was pushing me to do so. Now there is! I've started two new blogs; one for my passion of film, and one for my new hobby, photography.
Here's some old pics of me......
I'll add descriptions later
Step outside the norm. Checkout some or all of these movies....
*Note: I put ‘**’ by my absolute favorites and ‘*’ by my favorites ;-) *
**Hard Candy 2005 (Drama Thriller)
**Requiem for a Dream 2000 (Drama Drugs)
*Donnie Darko 2001 (Drama Sci-Fi Thriller)
*Summer of Sam 1999 (Crime Drama Thriller)
**The Tracey Fragments 2007 (Drama)
*American Beauty 1999 (Drama)
**Eternal Sunshines of the Spotless Mind 2004 (Drama Romance)
**Se7en 1995 (Crime Mystery Thriller)
Quills 2000 (Drama History Romance)
*28 Days Later 2002 (Action Sci-Fi Thriller)
*Open Hearts / Elsker dig for evigt 2002 (Drama Romance)
Thirteen 2003 (Drama Crime)
**Sprin, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring / Bom yeoreum goeul gyeoul geurigo bom 2003 (Drama)
**Shaun of the Dead 2004 (Comedy Horror)
*Sideways 2004 (Comedy Drama Romance)
*Hero / ying xiong 2002 (Action Adventure)
*Infernal Affairs / Mougaun dou 2002 (Crime Drama Romance Thriller)
*Before Sunset 2004 (Drama Romance)
**L’amant / Lover 1992 (Biography Drama Romance)
*My Summer of Love 2004 (Drama Romance)
**Kung Fu Hustle 2004 (Comedy Action Fantasy)
**Shaolin Soccer 2001 (Comedy Action Fantasy)
**Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead 2007 (Comedy Drama Thriller)
**Stay 2005 (Drama Mystery Thriller)
**Invisible Circus 2001 (Drama)
So a while back I did a post of some of thing quotes that help me get through life. Well here it is again with two months of up updates. Enjoy....
I've been posting quotes on my wall that help me get through my tough days. Since a lot of you have liked or commented on them, I decided to make a collection of them here in this note. I will add to it as new quotes are posted on my wall. May this help you as much as it's helped me.
~Famous~
Things to help you through....
If you expect perfection from other people, your whole life is a series of disappointments, grumbling and complaints. If, on the contrary, you pitch your expectations low, taking folks as the inefficient creatures which they are, you are ... frequently surprised by having them perform better than you had hoped.
Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within.
Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.
In complete darkness we are all the same, it is only our knowledge and wisdom that separates us, don't let your eyes deceive you.
Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
Love is not finding someone to live with; it's finding someone whom you can't live without .
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
The rising sun can dispel the darkness of night, but it cannot banish the blackness of malice, hatred, bigotry, and selfishness from the hearts of humanity.
When you look at electrical things you can see that they are made of small and big wires, cheap and expensive all lined up. Until the current runs through them there will be no light. Those wires are you and me and the current is God. We have the pow...er to let the current pass through us, use us and produce the light of the world or we can refuse to be used and allow darkness to spread.
✞ "Jesus loves me! This I know, For the Bible tells me so; Little ones to Him belong, They are weak but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes, Jesus loves me! The Bible tells me so." ✞
A man may devote himself to death and destruction to save a nation; but no nation will devote itself to death and destruction to save mankind.
Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.
I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death.
You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.
Loving someone is like caring for a garden, love it too much or too little and it dies, but love it just right and it will live forever.
The future is not a result of choices among alternative paths offered by the present, but a place that is created--created first in the mind and will, created next in activity. The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating.
True transformation occurs only when we can look at ourselves squarely and face our attachments and inner demons, free from the buzz of commercial distraction and false social realities. We have to retreat into our own cocoons and come face-to-face with who we are. We have to turn toward our own inner darkness. For only by abandoning its attachments and facing the darkness does the caterpillar's body begin to spread out and its light, beautiful wings begin to form.
Like the lotus, you experience three primary stages of evolution. The first is marked by ignorance and darkness, when you lie below the dense mud - a closed chrysalis - which, by nature of existence, will eventually be pulled upwards by the warmth of the Sun. The second is exemplified by the climb through the clouded waters of your emotional experience, yet still the flower reaches to the Sun, knowing no other destiny ... no other purpose. The third brings full illumination in the splendor of the light. The Lotus flower blossoms, baring its exquisite beauty to all those who are aware, enough to recognize God unfolding.
People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.
Additional Set #1:
May the love hidden deep inside your heart find the love waiting in your dreams. May the laughter that you find in your tomorrow wipe away the pain you find in your yesterdays.
Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile, and finds in your presence that life is worth while. So when you are lonely, remember it's true: Somebody, somewhere is thinking of you.
Whenever I'm at my lowest, there's always someone to pull me back up and show me that life is still worth living for
My life would be beautiful if you were by my side because you have painted a smile in my heart that will last for a lifetime.
Don't fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.
~8/28/2009~
Additional Set #2:
Love comes to those who still hope even though they've been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they've been betrayed, to those who still love even though they've been hurt before.
Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it's not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because ...you won't. It's whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.
Welcome every morning with a smile.Look on the new day as another special gift from your Creator, another golden opportunity to complete what you were unable to finish yesterday. Be a self-starter.Let your first hour set the theme of success and positive action that is certain to echo through your entire day. Today will never happen again. Don't waste it with a false start or no start at all.You were not born to fail.
Beginning today,treat everyone you meet as if they were going to die by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.
Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing ...will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.
Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.
It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.
When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead keep your head up high and gaze into heaven for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal.
Any change, any loss, does not make us victims. Others can shake you, surprise you, disappoint you, but they can't prevent you from acting, from taking the situation you're presented with and moving on. No matter where you are in life, no m...atter what your situation, you can always do something. You always have a choice and the choice can be power.
When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.
Our inner strengths, experiences, and truths cannot be lost, destroyed, or taken away. Every person has an inborn worth and can contribute to the human community. We all can treat one another with dignity and respect, provide opportunities to grow to...ward our fullest lives and help one another discover and develop our unique gifts. We each deserve this and we all can extend it to others.
~9/28/2009~
So I have this one friend that is really getting into astrology and is always sending me information on zodiac signs. Most of them sound like total garbage, but here lately, they have been pretty on point. After reading this write up on my zodiac sign, I decided to post it. It's about 97% accurate as it applies to me.
Pisces is the last sign of the zodiac, which has the symbol of 'The Fish'. Pisces people are not much interested in the material things of life and are not the ones to run after money. It's not that they are against riches, but they are more aware of its impermanence. They are not greedy about anything, least of all wealth. A Piscean has an easy carelessness about tomorrow. Pisces display either of the two basic personalities traits - going with the flow or against it. They will either go where the current takes them or fight against it.
Only if they choose the latter one, will they be truly happy and satisfied with their life. When they manage to do this, they are sure to reach the highest echelons of success. A Piscean characteristics profile exhibits loads of charm and a very easygoing attitude. He is not bothered by restrictions, as long as he has the right to dream and live his own life. Radical opinions do not stimulate him at all, nor do insults make him agitated. Very few things compel him to lose his temper. When a Pisces does get angry, it is better to stay away.
He can give the most sarcastic comments, be extremely rude and lash you with a scathing tongue. The best part is that the anger seldom lasts long and he will be his usual placid self again. When he sees the world, his eyes seem to be covered with rose-colored spectacles. Pisceans live in the world of their own, even when they are completely aware of the rough side of humanity. In their world, everyone is good and everything is beautiful. They have a very sharp memory and tend to remember the minutest of details.
When we give a description of Pisces personality, one of the basic traits that come in mind is its soothing stability. Even in the worst of storms, a Piscean will never panic and will maintain his poise. He has a good intuition and if he tells you not to go out of the house on a particular day, it is better to stay indoors. Pisces is the last sign of the zodiac and represents death and eternity. It has a blend of the qualities of all the other zodiacs. It is because of this fusion that it becomes very difficult to truly understand a Pisces.
He is a great organizer and pays attention to details (like Virgo), has a fair and detached judgment (like Libra), is sympathetic and moody (like Cancer), displays honesty and kindness (like Sagittarius), loves people and attention (like Leo) and is analytical (like Aquarius). At the same time, he talks very quickly and expertly (like Gemini), is passive and stubborn (like Taurus), can know your deepest secrets (like Scorpio), shows dedication to duty (like Capricorn) and overflows with optimism, innocence and zeal (like Aries).
A Piscean likes to argue, loves nature and holds fierce ambitions. He is deeply interested in music and art. He has great wisdom and is very compassionate towards the weak. He loves to help people in distress and utilizes most of his energy doing this only. You will never know when a Piscean is profoundly hurt. He hides his deepest emotions behind a veil of humor. The humor may be warm and innocent or cold and ruthless. However, it is sure to be a mask for some other emotion, more often than not.
Laughter is his best cover and he will use it wisely. He has compassion for the sick and even tries to understand the feelings of the lonely. Even those who are weak by choice will get Pisces shoulder to cry on. He never judges people and accepts them just as they are. He knows all your vices and virtues, understands them and will still be there if you need him. He wants to help everyone; still most of the people fail to understand the sensitivity of the fish. He absorbs the positive as well as the negative vibrations around him.
The world needs the creativity, imagination and empathy of Pisceans and they know it. Very often, they bury their own dreams to see their loved ones realizing their ambitions. One quality of Pisceans that is very annoying is that they hate to answer questions in a simple 'Yes' or 'No'. Mostly, the answer will be a 'Maybe'. Still, he cares and he lets you know that. He is much stronger and wiser than most of the other people, he only has to realize it. The moment he struggles against the tide, you know he will reach the shore before anyone else.
Quoted from http://www.iloveindia.com/astrology/
